Once again I have all these things I need to be doing. My head is overloaded with tasks...so I decide to do none of them. At an early age I realized I was smart and I could get by on not trying too terribly hard. It was a realization that has haunted me for the rest of my life. I have this serious complex where I just cannot do work before the final hour. I am certain that I am putting undue stress in my life, on my mind, on my body. I spend so more time agonizing over projects than I would if I just sat down and pumped them out. Maybe it's just the way the creative mind works. Maybe there's some loose wiring or something. In addition to all this work I'm thinking about, I'm also thinking about how I've once again given in to that version of me. The me who gives in at the drop of a hat or the drop of a compliment. I was so impressed with that will power I miraculously found. Unfortunately it seems I have once again lost it along with my focus.