Once again I have all these things I need to be doing. My head is overloaded with tasks...so I decide to do none of them. At an early age I realized I was smart and I could get by on not trying too terribly hard. It was a realization that has haunted me for the rest of my life. I have this serious complex where I just cannot do work before the final hour. I am certain that I am putting undue stress in my life, on my mind, on my body. I spend so more time agonizing over projects than I would if I just sat down and pumped them out. Maybe it's just the way the creative mind works. Maybe there's some loose wiring or something. In addition to all this work I'm thinking about, I'm also thinking about how I've once again given in to that version of me. The me who gives in at the drop of a hat or the drop of a compliment. I was so impressed with that will power I miraculously found. Unfortunately it seems I have once again lost it along with my focus.

Idle Times

It's almost midnight and I've got ads to write and posters to design, yet all I can focus on are Idle times, the wine in my glass and the melodic beat of rain drops on my vintage window pane. A few moments ago I discovered a penny lounging heads-up on my bathroom floor. I'm thinking I'll pick it up tomorrow...after all I don't want to waste my luck on just one hour, you know--in case it expires. Is a penny like a birthday candle? Do you get a wish? Or to at least suggest the category to which you'd like your luck directed?

After watching what may be the worst movie I've seen this year, I've spent the better part of this night thinking about timing and how it's not my friend. If only my mailbox were so magical. It's a shame to look back and see things I'd do differently. But I have to believe it'd all lead to now, if only to avoid the pressure of responsibility.